“New Year, New Me” - why I’m not buying into the hype

It’s January once again. A clean slate. A new year full of possibilities. It’s no wonder so many of us loudly declare our intentions for a new and improved version of ourselves at this time.

I used to be amongst the throng of people shouting “New Year, New Me” and signing up for the latest weight loss or fitness program in order to make ‘this year MY year’. Inevitably the momentum wore off very quickly and not only would I not achieve whatever unrealistic goal I’d set for myself, but I added a huge dollop of shame on top. It wouldn’t take long before I would spiral and end up feeling worse all because I had set myself up to fail. Why do we do this to ourselves? We know New Year’s resolutions are doomed to fail, yet we still feel compelled to set them. There’s something so intoxicating about the notion of a fresh start that it’s almost impossible to resist.

This year I decided to try something different for myself and instead of setting resolutions, I would set an intention for the year. This is not a new or original idea, but it is one that really resonated with me.

In 2025 I want to focus on community.

So what does that mean exactly? The last few years have illustrated for me that I have a tendency to isolate and withdraw when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes the solitude is necessary, but it does make it harder to reconnect to the world when I’m feeling better. The more times I turn down plans, the more the invites seem to dry up. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life and trying to organise a catch up becomes yet another thing on our never-ending to-do list.

What I have noticed though is how much I need community. As a single woman of a certain age who works predominantly from home, there aren’t as many opportunities to form community unless I actively seek them. By setting the intention of community for the year, not only will this help push me to spend more quality time with my nearest and dearest, it’ll also motivate me to re-connect with old friends I’ve lost touch with. It’ll also help give me the push I need to make new connections.

As someone without children, I don’t have the in-built school community or the connections made based on after-school activities. Many of the hobbies I’ve been cultivating recently are mostly solo activities too, like painting, sewing or needlework. And I never need an excuse to stay home and snuggle with my cat.

I have been living in my current home for over six years and while I am friendly with my neighbours, the ones I had made deeper connections with have sadly moved on. I am very lucky to have a very close friend who lives nearby who is a social butterfly and encourages me to explore the neighbourhood and introduces me to lots of new people as well. Isn’t it awesome when you get adopted by an extrovert? Without her encouragement I may have become even more of a hermit!

A few years ago I wanted to create more connections in my local community, so I researched local book clubs and joined one at the beginning of 2020 and we all know what happened then. I lost a bit of momentum and never did go back once we were allowed to meet up in person again. But last year I was a member of an online book club, Birds of a Feather, which was really rewarding and got me reading lots of books I may not have come across otherwise. So this year, as well as being a bird, I’m also looking to join a local book club to make connections in person as well. And if the group that meets at my local library is no longer active, I might just start a new group of my own.

I love to sing. I taught singing for a long time and every few years will make an appearance performing in a community theatre musical. This year I have decided to join a choir. Not only will this give me the opportunity to make some new connections and hopefully be a part of a community of like-minded people, but I’m hoping the regular rehearsals will help get me singing more. Group singing has so many therapeutic benefits for our mental health too. Singing in a group has been show to reduce anxiety and improve mood, and can even have a positive effect on our immune systems and reduce our pain responses. What’s not to love about that?

I am also making a commitment to my Meaningful Change Community as well. I’ve opened up more availability for clients to be able to work with me one on one this year and am in the process of developing some resources for people to be able to access when they’re time-poor or need a little extra support outside of sessions. Watch this space for more details . . .

Whatever your plans or intentions are for 2025, I hope they involve being kind to yourself. I hope you prioritise self care and find ways to do more of what lights you up inside. I hope you are surrounded by people that bring out the best in you. I hope you’re able to make a positive impact with your unique gifts and talents on the people around you and those in the wider community. Together, we can make meaningful change, and what a beautiful thing that is.

© 2025 Jodie Blewitt - meaningfulchangecounselling.com.au